But, whatevs. Don't talk to her about Glenvilles, the Moon on the Square, The Lounge or Time My Northampton dating Envy — no one needs to be reminded of orange-flavoured alcopops, sticky carpets or snogging three people in one night. Best blowjob in Castlereagh in the past, OK?
But did she get up early to watch its annihilation with 1, other Northamptonians? Nah, CBA.
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While we're on Northampton's finest buildings: the lift tower is her equivalent of the Eiffel Tower — tall, iconic and it gets dressed up for Christmas. But don't take her there for a picnic — that would be all kinds of wrong. When she talks about 50p Lil, she is not referring to a Rugrats character — nor has she dropped the 't' off an averagely priced can of Gamer dating Stoke on Trent pop with a totally tropical taste.
Oh, Northapton Matt Smith of Dr Who Fame, who went to school with her best friend and their mums were tight. Don't be embarrassed if she goes a little OTT when a song with a dance routine comes on.
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She'll also know all the words to the local shopping centre's jinglehaving spent many car journeys listening to Sing-along now: "… with parking too, at the Grosvenor Centre. And when she suggests going to Buddies, she does not want to introduce you to Northamptom friends.
It's an American-style diner, and one of the better restaurants in town. Go on, try it with Cogenhoe.
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